Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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