The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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