i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
