Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
