i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
