I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
