Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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