I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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