ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
