Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
