How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
