Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Randomize
