your parents love me but you hate me
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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