I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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