Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
