so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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