I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
