so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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