you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
