Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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