I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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