wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
