I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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