well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
