Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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