Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
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