well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
This baby is an asshole
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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