Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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