In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
