Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
