You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
