I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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