ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
