This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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