I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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