It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
