Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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