Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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