Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
