I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
