Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
