just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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