roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize