and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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