I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I love you. Go after that dick
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
