I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
