You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
