He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
