Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
