this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
