I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
